Saturday, April 16, 2011

"Porn Creates Unrealistic Expectations"

HARUKI: I think I’m ready. I think we should do it tonight.
SHINJI: You mean…have sex?
HARUKI: Yeah. Are you ready?
SHINJI: This is the perfect time. Let me get undressed.
HARUKI: Okay. I’ll lay out the iguana carcasses.
SHINJI: What?
HARUKI: Iguana carcasses. To attract the Lord of the Lizard Demons.
SHUNJI: I thought we were having sex.
HARUKI: We are. Wait, what is that?
SHINJI: What?
HARUKI: Between your legs. Where are the rest of them?
SHINJI: What?
HARUKI: Is that your only penis? You only have one? How many tentacles do you have?
SHINJI: Tentacles…I…I just have this one penis.
HARUKI: Are you serious? That’s it? Just the one, tiny, fleshy penis?
SHINJI: Yeah, why?
HARUKI: I mean…I guess we can make it work until the octopus shows up.

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