Wednesday, March 2, 2011

"Grunts"

-So we’re supposed to run out there? Right into the bullets?
-Yeah, Sarge ordered a direct attack. He said to really raise hell.
-But all of our comrades are getting mowed down out there. No one stands a chance.
-Sarge said to charge head-on.
-But we will surely be killed. The enemy is a genetically engineered human supersoldier, three times our size, who can jump fifteen feet in the air and seems practically invulnerable to our weaponry. He appears to become stronger just from momentarily standing behind a wall. He has the powers of a god.
-We cannot defy Sarge’s orders! Do not discredit his motivational speech.
-All he said was, “Get in there and die, boys.”
-But we must fight for our race! For our world! It is up to us!
-That superhuman just killed six of our best soldiers in half a second! Are we really expected to put up a fight? He’s a grizzly, psychologically unstable human with titanium body armor that far surpasses our exoskeletons, with the devil-may-care attitude of a twelve year-old.
-I suppose my armor is sort of…squishy.
-Our crude, photosynthesis-based weapons are spitballs compared to his grenade-launching chain gun, which seems to have unlimited ammunition. He carries fourteen guns! Plus grenades and knives! We don’t stand a chance. Why does Sarge have the final say in this matter?
-I suppose some of Sarge’s past orders have been a bit misguided. He did once order three squadrons of our finest warriors to fly directly into the sun.
-Two months ago he made six officers battle a mile-deep canyon by charging headstrong into it.
-And he does have a history of commanding soldiers to eradicate poisonous spores by consuming them.
-I feel like maybe Sarge was promoted only due to his relation to the Emperor. Perhaps the royal inbreeding affected his decision making abilities.
-You’re absolutely right! Sarge has no authority to lead. We’d have better luck fighting an atomic bomb. When I signed up for this they made it seem like we’d really play a major role in our race’s salvation.
-Seems to me like we’re just pawns in a big game that Sarge has been trying to throw for years. I think we should flee and rally the others to do the same.
-We can start a new faction to rise up against unjust and unqualified leadership.
-We will rule this world fairly and sensibly. As soon as the superhuman god-warrior pauses to reload, we must retreat to that outcropping.
-Wait, is that a bird headed for us?
-That looks more like a grenade.

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