Tuesday, February 15, 2011

"When My Generation Has the Power"

Secretary of State Billups: President Husted, the insurgents have just threatened nuclear warfare. We need a decision regarding U.S. intervention.

President Husted: This is a difficult decision and one that has weighed heavily on my mind for the past several days. I can’t decide if a ninja would be able to solve the crisis best or if a pirate would be ideal.

Vice President Thompson: A pirate for sure. Their vicious swashbuckling combined with their no-holds-barred attitude is a lethal combination.

President Husted: Right, but the ninjas could approach stealthily and assassinate the insurgents and unite the people in support of a nunchuk contest. It is a difficult decision.

Secretary of State Billups: Enough games. This is an incredibly serious matter. This decision will define your administration. The Joint Chiefs of Staff are all listening on the line and need a decision. In what capacity will the United States intervene?

President Husted: Call me crazy, but I think Jason Statham might be best for the job. Remember when he used watermelons as boxing gloves in Transporter 3?

Vice President Thompson: Jason Statham is awesome. He could let someone eat those watermelons after he uses them to break a few noses.

President Husted: Get Jason Statham. Tell him to bring the watermelons.

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