Thursday, February 10, 2011

"Mean Mean Pride"

NEIL: You back there! Knock it off! Stop that. I don’t deserve this.
GEDDY: What are you doing? Why’d you stop playing?
NEIL: Yeah, you in the red shirt. Do you think you’re better than me? You think you can do what I do?
GEDDY: Neil, what the hell? We were in the middle of that song.
NEIL: Yeah, and this moron is taunting me from the fiftieth row. He’s waving his arms around like he can play these drums. Stop it.
GUY: …
NEIL: Someone get him a mic. What do you have to say for yourself? Why were you mocking me?
GUY: I wasn’t making fun of you. I…I was just drumming along. It’s fun.
NEIL: That’s your idea of fun? You sound pretty lame.
GUY: People do this all the time.
NEIL: No they don’t. I’ve never seen it before. How’d you like it if I came down to where you work and imitated you all day?
GUY: I don’t…Um…
NEIL: Huh? What’s that, big shot drummer? Did your air drums win you nine Best Rock Drummer of the Year awards from Modern Drummer magazine? Where do you work? Please tell me what sort of business would hire a monumental asshole such as yourself.
GUY: I’m a dentist.
NEIL: A dentist? So tomorrow morning I’ll come to your office and stand in the lobby pretending to be a dentist. So I guess I’ll wave my arms around like I’m scraping imaginary crap off people’s teeth and then pretend to diagnose unnecessary costly procedures. Would you like that, buddy?
GUY: That would be incredible, actually. I’m a huge fan.
NEIL: Great. So tomorrow morning at nine. I’ll be there to mock you, you sick man.

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