Sunday, January 16, 2011

"Practical Skill"

I was sitting in my office the other day just kicking back and about to start on some serious work designing some killer pickle-based characters for the kids menu of a new burger spot when Kimberly from accounts walked by and saw my calendar featuring photos of hot collegiate gymnasts and said, “Hey, I was a gymnast in college; I can do all the moves” so I said, “What a useless skill,” and she said, “Gymnastics is actually an extremely useful skill with plenty of practical uses in the workplace. Check this out,” and she ran to the end of the hall, did some weird stretches and made unintentional faces like she was taking a dump and rocketed into a triple-back handspring down the aisle between cubicles, twirling and spinning the whole time, springing her body toward the ceiling with her skinny arms, the short heels sticking out of her boot-cut dress pants nearly scraping the lights, then Bill from corporate walked out of a hallway and she kicked him in the chin and he spilled his coffee all over himself and the floor and I think a tooth came out and the office manager Mike poked his head out and yelled, “What the hell are you doing?” but it didn’t stop Kimberly from doing one last back-flip and her head crashed through the flat glass on the Xerox machine.

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