Sunday, January 30, 2011

"Comic Book Logic"

-Harold, come here, dear boy. I’ve got some bad news.
-What is it, dad?
-You know that grandpa has been in the hospital for a while now, right?
-Well he passed away last night.
-Grandpa died?
-Yes. Grandpa is dead. At least for the time being.
-What do you mean?
-He’s gone for at least a month. It might be as many as three.
-But…but he’s dead.
-Exactly. He’ll be gone for a few months. No one can say for sure how many. And then he’ll come back and tell us all where he went. He may be in an inter-dimensional portal or he may be smoothing over things with Norse gods right now. Don’t fret! We’ll find out soon.
-But…I thought dead meant he’s gone forever.
-We all did, too, until we realized what was going on here. I do have to warn you, though, grandpa may come back as someone else. It may be a person who studied under your grandpa and has learned all of his ways. Like you know his friend Steve Doyle? Steve Doyle may be your new grandpa.
-But Mr. Doyle isn’t grandpa.
-Not yet. But grandpa taught him everything he knows. Mr. Doyle can watch television, get the mail, and tell uninteresting stories just as well as grandpa, but with a newer style.
-But he won’t look like grandpa.
-Sure he will. He’ll take grandpa’s khaki pants and striped sweaters and update them. Maybe he’ll put big stripes down the pant legs. It’ll be fine, sport. No big deal. We’ll find out in a few months.
-Well okay. But what will we do until then?
-We’ll just have to put up with his talking cat Buttons for a little while.

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