Monday, January 31, 2011

"The Best Excuse"

-Mom, can we buy a videocamera?
-What for?
-It’s for a school project. We have to make a video for our group.
-Well, if it’s for school then that’s okay.

-Officer, this is all a big misunderstanding.
-There’s no misunderstanding. You stole the candy and ran through seven yards trying to get away from me.
-But officer, it was for school. I’m writing a paper about shoplifting and this was research.
-Oh. I had no idea it was for school. Would you like a tour of the police station?

-The jury hereby claims the defendant—
-Wait, wait, wait. There’s one last thing. This was a school project.
-If I may, Mr. Davidson, you have embezzled thirty million dollars and you have not been in school for over twenty years.
-No, no, no. You see, I just enrolled in an online course last month and our first homework is to build a rocket ship, so that’s why I needed the money.
-Well, if it was for school, then we don’t want to get in the way of your education. I hope you receive an A on your spaceship.

-Mr. Lewis, I was wondering if I could take a six month leave of absence from work to travel around the world on a sailboat with three sexy young women while still receiving my full salary and benefits.
-Absolutely not! What makes you think I would allow that?
-It is for school, sir. A project about wind.
-Wind?
-Yes, a science project that will help me determine which direction the wind blows and also how long it takes to get tired of seeing breasts. It’s for school, sir.
-Well if it’s for school I suppose that’s alright. We’ll be sure to deposit your paychecks for you. Just be sure to really look at those breasts so you make a good grade.

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