Tuesday, December 7, 2010

"Distressed Jeans"

We supply you with a pair of medium rise double spun cotton medium blue washed relaxed fit denim. Slightly bleached in the thrashed areas. Distressed like you were attacked by a wolverine. These jeans are primo distressed, ripped and torn and worn like they’ve been through some serious trauma. But we don’t stop there. While most other companies stop after superficially distressing their jeans, we go the extra step to emotionally torment our pairs so the distress goes beyond the surface. Sometimes we take a pair aside and tell it that it was adopted. Once we chatted with a pair on AOL Instant Messenger for two months, masquerading as a sexy woman who also enjoyed the science fiction television shows he watches and wanted to meet up in person, and then at the meet-up spot it was just all of us and we’re like “Psych!” and, man, that will seriously distress a pair of jeans. Total wear-and-tear. Once we told a pair that its parents had been in a serious helicopter crash and the phone number we gave it for the hospital was disconnected, so it could never get in touch to find out if its parents were alive. Extreme distress! That pair is still a wreck! A wreck that will make you the coolest guy in the club. Don’t wear lame jeans from other companies that just rip up the denim. Buy from a company that truly distresses the jeans, from their seams to their hearts.

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