Tuesday, September 28, 2010

"MacArthur Foundation to Award 23 Sarcastic 'Genius' Grants"

The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, known for awarding $500,000 grants to trailblazers in the arts, sciences, and academics, announced today a new annual program that spotlights twenty-three idiots from all walks of life by giving them a $200 gift certificate to Ruby Tuesday’s and sarcastic title of “Genius.” Catherine T. MacArthur said in a press release, “We scoured the country for shining examples of bone-headed decisions made by the finest morons and dingbats in the nation. We’ve got some real Einsteins in this bunch.” Eric Roth, a seventeen year-old high school senior from Roswell, Georgia earned the prize for a May 2nd incident in which he backed his mother’s minivan through the garage door. “It’s an honor,” he said. “It’s going to look so sweet on my college apps.” When told that the title is meant sarcastically, his tone changed. “That’s a low blow. Serious dick move on their part. Like I’m the first person to mix up the pedals?” The awards will be given in a ceremony next week to be held in the visitor’s dugout of Ungerman Field, a little league baseball field in Sparta, New Jersey.

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