Wednesday, September 29, 2010

"'Complete Moron' Magazine Lets Advertisers Cut to the Chase"

Advance Publications, the media giant that operates Conde Nast as well as several daily newspapers and Parade magazine announced today a new weekly national newspaper insert designed to let advertisers hit an elusive target market. An excerpt from Advance’s press release: “Until now, the moron market had been dispersed throughout several other key demos. There are morons in every age group and in every state. Our new weekly, Complete Moron, is the only magazine that will allow advertisers a bulls-eye shot at their market every time.” The glossy publication will feature human interest stories focusing on felines, ordinary citizens with extraordinary collections, and doctors who sometimes tell jokes to their patients. Ad space has already been purchased for the next four years by companies selling Amish furnaces, collectible coins, diet pills, Elvis memorabilia, and dull-looking garments. When asked why they don’t just rebrand Parade, Julia Newman, Advance’s Head of PR said, “We have a steady readership of non-morons who believe the TV listings might be inside Parade. This new publication will only be opened by complete morons, as its covers will always feature Paula Deen wearing ethnically insensitive holiday outfits.”

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