Tuesday, July 13, 2010

"Not So Bad"

“Hello, how’s your summer going?”
“It’s good, how’s yours?”
“Good, good. Let’s see here. We need to check up on how the Solodyn is doing, right? Is it working? Is your acne improving?”
“I think so, yes. There haven’t been any problems. I’m actually feeling really good about my skin, finally. I don’t worry about people taking my picture anymore. It’s amazing.”
“Great. I’ll just take a look at your face. Yep, it looks like your skin is in better shape.”
“Fantastic.”
“You still have a few inflamed pustules around your mouth and neck, but overall, yes, certainly a slight improvement. Are there any other open sores I should know about?”
“No. I actually thought my face was looking good. I didn’t know I had anything like that.”
“Oh, just a couple of minor things. Nothing to get too depressed over. I see around your nose there is some scaliness developing. I’ll prescribe you a cream for that. That’s actually dandruff forming around your nose as your skin dries up, flakes, and peels off.”
“I hadn’t noticed that.”
“It’s not a big deal. Now, have these red splotches all over your cheeks always been there?”
“What?”
“These red splotches. They look swollen and raw, like you’ve been outside in a snowstorm.”
“I…I don’t know. I’ve never seen them.”
“Well I can get you a pill for that, don’t worry. Now, let’s have you lift up your shirt so I can see your back.”
“Okay.”
“Looking good back here. Definitely a decrease in the bleeding acne scabs I saw last time.”
“What?”
“Now, this cluster of enormous blackheads. These actually form when the area isn’t cleansed enough. Do you shower daily?”
“Yeah. I shower daily.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I thought my back looked fine.”
“It really does, apart from this quarter-sized mole. And over here is a little patch of ingrown hairs. Have you been to the beach this summer? There are some spots back here that must have formed from days baking in the sun with baby oil. Your skin looks leathery and dead.”
“I did go to the beach, and no one said anything about my back. I looked in a mirror and never saw any of those things. You know, I actually felt pretty good about myself when I walked in here.”
“Great, great. Self esteem is essential. Now, the rosacea on your face seems to be flaring up. Do you moisturize?”
“What rosacea? Yes, I moisturize.”
“I’m going to enroll you in a trial of a new drug for severe cases of rosacea. It has been shown to reduce rosacea in rhinoceroses.”
“My face looks fine! Now I just feel horrible.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I always prescribe some Zoloft along with everything else.”

No comments: