Monday, October 26, 2009

"A Simple Mistake"

“Where is it? Where is it?”
“The salt? It’s in my backpack.”
“Come on, man, get it out! The witches are, like, two miles away. They already know where we are.”
“Chill out. I got the salt. We just have to put it in a circle around us and their spells can’t penetrate the barrier. We’ll be fine. It was all in my grandpa’s spellbook.”
“That thing better be right. Come on, get it out!”
“Help me open the bag. I can’t get it.”
“What the hell is this?”
“It’s the salt.”
“This bag says cinnamon sugar.”
“What? Oh shit, you’re right.”
“Are you kidding me? All you had to do was get some salt at the store on your way here. Now we have no protection from the witches. They’ll turn us to stone, you asshole.”
“Sorry I’m not perfect like you. I make one little mistake and now I’m an asshole?”
“A little mistake? Those witches have already killed most of the town! We’re the only ones who know how to defend ourselves and your one duty was to buy some salt. How do you screw that up? There’s half an aisle of salt and, what, six bags of cinnamon sugar in there?”
“I was in a rush.”
“This is ridiculous. You do this all the time.”
“I accidentally buy cinnamon sugar all the time?”
“You screw up simple tasks all the time. And now we’re going to be statues for all of eternity.”
“Look, man, I’m sorry. What do you want me to do?”
“It’s too late to buy salt. All we can do is sit here and wait until the witches kill us, and then they’ll move on and kill everyone else.”
“Can we eat cinnamon sugar while we wait?”
“Hey, the spellbook says cinnamon sugar will make the witches melt.”
“Seriously? Let me see.”
“What the hell? This spellbook is titled Southern Home Cooking Volume 2.”
“Yeah, I found it in his kitchen.”
“This is a cookbook.”
“Where? Wait. Oh, Jesus. You’re right. Man, I really did screw this one up.”
“I hope you die first.”